Friday, 3 August 2012

Portsmouth have no players

Portsmouth graduated from the same school of finance as our good friends Rangers and have been enjoying their summer by trying to sell literally everything they have.  Like my friend Mark who sold his Xbox to buy more weed.


Ahh who couldn't love a bunch of 'barmy' lads like those right there?  As though Neil Buchanan went mad and started sewing various people together that had the audacity to walk through his garden.  Like a giant spider, he sits behind the door of his shed, pulling the trip wire to knock his prey over and then pouncing, filling the newly emptied bodies with the brain of a police dog.  Those things are smart.

Something about Portsmouth.... ah yes.  Unless all the players on the books of the club are gone by 10th of August, they're going to be put into liquidation.  That means people like Dave Kitson and Tel Ben-Haim who are sucking the money teet dry, until the dust comes out, like I did to that cow that one time when I was trying to think of a way to get out of conversation with it.  Tuesdays are always weird.