Newcastle owner Mike Ashley is set to buy some shares in Ibrox, which makes me want to cry a bit.
The clinically obese millionaire wants to buy some shares in Rangers now that they are cheap because THEY ARE IN THE THIRD DIVISION HA HA HA AH AAH A AH because once they get back to the SPL they'll be worth a fair bit. Also, because he owns another football club he can just loan them loads of the fringe reserve players and help them get promoted faster. It's a bit like striking a deal in Monopoly with the guy everyone hates in your group of friends, except instead of buying streets in London you die of diabetes.