Luis Suarez has signed a new long term deal with Liverpool to prove that crime does pay!
The Uruguayan was all upset when he was booed every single time he got the ball in his country's last Olympics match, but such is the extent of his pantomime villainy that he must get booed even walking down the street now. Luckily for him he can wipe away his tears with all the money from his £100,000 a week giant length new contract. Whereas I will hold mine inside because I am hard as nails. Only girls cry, Luis. Girls and racists. But I cried at Forrest Gump! OH GOD NOOOOO