Sunday, 5 August 2012

Everyone is not buying everyone

Sunday is the day of rest and the day that the papers must be filled of transfer tittle-tattle to be enjoyed with a crumpet and a cup of coffee. Mmm delicious middle-class Aberdeenshire life.

Pictured above is Lucas Moura, I've never seen him play but he wears number 7, he's Brazillian and he's allegedly worth £30m. Depending on what paper you read, Manchester United are going to agree terms for Lucas Moura and Robin Van Persie this week. £50m will be spent and they will still have done nothing to solve their gaping wound in the centre of midfield. FitbaThatba truth rating - Moura -6 / RVP -2

Another paper reports that Manchester United are bored of Wengers bullshit and will pull out of the RVP auction and instead buy Dortmunds Lewandowski. FitbaThatba truth rating - 6

Spurs want to buy Hugo Loris but cannot do anything until they finally sell Modric. Spurs are idiots- they hold off for as much money as possible and then lose their players right at the end of the window when it's too late to buy anyone - truth rating - 9 / Harry Redknapp melted face rating - 10

Arsenal are going to sign Cazorla and Nuri Sahin and it's just boring now waiting for that to happen as I really want Cazorla in my fantasy team. - truth rating - 10
One paper says that United will hijack this and buy Sahin to make the Arsense Owl flap - truth rating 1

Elsewhere - Ashley Cole wants more money - truth rating 100000000