With all the furore surrounding RVP's sensational move to Manchester United, everyone has forgotten about the sad vampire. Not me! I know where he is.
At some point soon I'm pretty sure he's going to retire and become an evil millionaire that lives in a haunted island with a rock shaped like his face. Failing that he'll present a show about cars called 'Top Gear: Vampire Style' and they go around stealing cars, pumping Kristen Stewart and killing people. It's basically what Geordie Shore think they are doing.
Aside from that, Berbatov will actually be moving to Zenit St Petersburg in Russia, because Russia and Bulgaria are basically the same place. It also sounds like the kind of town you would expect to find retired vampires. COINCIDENCE?!!!!