Prepare yourselves for various 'parting of the red sea' jokes and some stuff about Jewish people, because Victor Moses is wanted by Chelsea. Did you get it? Moses.
Man I'm on fire today. Chelsea want the Wigan forward but won't pay a dime over £fish even though Wigan want £8.5, which sounds like quite a lot for a player whose best skill is 'disappointment'. Every time he gets the ball for Wigan he makes the game 30% more exciting but then he just runs it into the corner or shoots wide. It's like when my Dad would come home and say 'I have something to tell you' and I was like 'OH MY GOD PRESENTS A DINOSAUR ARGHH PRESENTS' and then he said 'I fucking cannot stand you. The minute you are old enough to leave this house I want you gone you little shit. Oh and here's a dinosaur I bought' and it was a real life tyrannosaurus rex and now we are best friends