Team GB are getting ready to lose in the group stages of this year's Olympics, and have gotten off to a great start by losing to Mexico in a secret game no-one knew about.
I have no idea if any Scottish or Northern Irish players are even in the Olympics squad for this, such is my utter disregard for it but in this game against Mexico, played behind closed doors, Stuart Pearce's men lost 1-0 and were apparently pretty awful. All of Britain will be excited for them to 'come home' and really turn on the form for the crowds and when I say all of Britain I think I mean some of them. I'll watch that race with that really fast dude in it, and maybe some gymnastics to see if anyone's hot, and I guess maybe the ones where people try and jump really high. And maybe the football. I'll send you a pamphlet with all the things on it that I want to watch so you can be aware at all times, because I'm nice like that.