Hey guys, I totally forgot to mention that Spain won Euro 2012, which already feels like it happened last year.
The "BEST TEAM EVER" absolutely destroyed Italy from start to finish, with the Spanish captain Iker Casillas even asking the referee to stop it early as a mark of respect for their opponents with the score at 4-0 in the 90th minute. So bad were Italy that Fernando Torres even managed to get a game, score and set up a goal in order to win the Golden Boot, which makes about as much sense to the world as if Eoin Jess was made President. Of the world. I'm not sure that's a role but by golly it should be.
This victory pretty much confirms that Spain are the best national team to have played since records began and I celebrated this by going to the strip club and then leaving as quickly as I could. It's basically like the cave Voldemort lives in but more confusing because it's actually real. I feel more like I'm going to be asked to adopt the stripper rather than see her tits.