Tuesday, 17 July 2012

Rio Ferdinand is racist now

In a shocking twist of the John Terry trial, it turns out that Rio Ferdinand was secretly the racist behind the scenes all along!  I DIDN'T SEE IT COMING! He laughed at a tweet declaring Ashley Cole a choc ice, which means he is racist now.  fml

The term apparently denotes someone of black ethnicity who exhibits the characteristics and traits of old whitey, and some guy used it to describe Ashely Cole.  Ho!  What japes.  Black people ARE different from white people!  They like cool music while all the honkeys are sat there listening to Mozart and Cotton Eye Joe, and white people are just so uncool, while all black dudes are all totally hip.  In no way are these lines ever blurred and in the real modern world the colour of someone is just that.

Ignore the fact that Rio Ferdinand is black, just think about how incredibly racist and evil he is now he's laughed at how lame Ashley Cole is.  I am absolutely outraged and set about looking for other examples to take to courts so we can finally burn all the racists!  I discovered these two disgusting specimens

Oh yeh so I'm supposed to believe they let non-asian people be doctors now am I?  This world has gone mental.  In one episode he even calls him 'brown bear'.  OFF WITH HIS HEAD

On a semi-serious note, the question the BBC are asking in one of their documentaries is 'is football racist?'.  No, it's not.  Stupid people are racist.  Stupid people tend to like football because it's the only thing their Dads ever did with them before they went to jail, and also because it allows them to get territorially aggressive and passionate about something without being in a gang, and joining their Dads in jail.  I'm pretty sure I don't know anyone who is racist, and I hang around with pretty smart people - the only occasions I've seen people be racist is when I'm in the local pub, or in a crowd with lots of the general public, who as we all know, are stupid.

So to summarise:

Stupid people are racist, EVERYTHING is racist, including Rio Ferdinand, who is racist against himself.

And also I desperately want to bang Zoe