Some jobsworth has got himself all upset because he caught the Port Vale players pissing in Central Forest Park. What a nerd.
The Port Vale players were running through the park when nature called and some of them stopped for a slash in the bushes. Unfortunately the park warden was around and didn't take too kindly to them urinating on his beloved shrubbery. According to him the players also verbally abused him. I imagine something along the lines of,
"hey! what are you doing?"
"having a piss, fuck off you weirdo"
Police were informed of the incident and now the local rags are getting involved. Some chavy, mother of two said it was disgusting and it sends out a bad message to the kids. Thankfully most normal people realise that this is only a story because it's pre-season and nothing exciting actually happens. Players involved could be fined £80, which is the same amount that FIFA fines fans for racist chanting.