Monday, 16 July 2012

Chelsea want to sign Oscar

According to newspapers and real journalists, Chelsea want to sign new Brazilian "wonderkid" Oscar but have been told he will cost £25m. Recession.


Of course that is Oscar the grouch. He looks pretty happy there if you ask me. Did Oscar eat rubbish? Is he stuck in the bin or does he move around like a hermit crab? So many questions. Oscar is twenty years old and a midfielder, YouTube tells me that he is probably the best player of all time -apart from Darren Mackie who scores goals like this.


Brazilian club Internacional's president is a smart man. He said that if Chelsea want to sign their best young prospect then it needs to be the biggest transfer in their history. Chelsea's negotiations must be pretty hard. 
"We won't pay a penny over £20m"
"Isn't your owner Roman Abramovich?"
"Yes..."
"Isn't he one of the richest people in the world?"
"OK we will pay you £25m but that's our final offer"
"You paid £50m for Fernando Torres"
"OK £30m"