Friday, 29 June 2012

Wayne Rooney is shit, say managers

Wayne Rooney was god awful in Euro 2012 and heavily contributed to why England were so terrible in the tournament, according to Roy Hodgson and Fabio Capello, who especially hates him.

Hodgson has already expressed his disappointment in how bad Rooney actually was, and Capello just couldn't wait to kick him in the balls while he was already down.  In response to Rooney's 'some tactics were lost in translation' review of Capello's tenure as England manager, the Italian said:
"After seeing the latest [England] game, I think Rooney only understands Scottish,"
I'm not sure Rooney understands Gaelic because no-one does other than old people and old people suck.  Although Wayne Rooney does like banging old ladies so potentially that is where he learned gaelic from.  Either that or Capello is referring to Alex Ferguson being Scottish and being able to get Rooney to play well, whereas he was unable to get the Manchester United forward to win games for his country or really do anything other than be disappointing and/or sent off.  I can only assume that because Capello is Italian his team talks consisted of pizza spinning like how you do with plates, but instead with pizzas.  Or maybe he did something else that's actually funny.  Like do a backflip with a horse into the sea.  Now that I'd pay to see!