Sunday, 17 June 2012

Wayne Rooney is ready

Don't worry about co-hosts Poland being kicked out, no-one cares about them really anyway, all anyone in the UK wants to know about is what Wayne Rooney is doing RIGHT NOW!

While the BBC and ITV spend 80% of air time discussing England's chances of success even during other matches, Wayne Rooney has been getting himself prepared for the match against Ukraine.  England just need to draw to progress but Shevchenko and co would prefer it if they won, because then they'd go through.  It's science, you wouldn't understand.  Rooney said:
"What happened was a mistake and I've paid the price,"
"I'm happy and ready to play. I've been looking forward to it and now I'm available to play I'm excited."
So now Hodgson has to drop either Welbeck or Carroll to accommodate England's best player and I think the best thing to do to decide this is have them launched into outer space because that would make a good sitcom.  Imagine the japes those two would get up to while trapped in a spacecraft.  They could even add Gareth Southgate and James Milner because of his square head!