Sunday, 24 June 2012

Spain win: Everyone moans

Spain defeated France 2-0 last night, in the most boring game of the tournament. Everyone was annoyed, especially Samir Nasri.

Spain have become the Ricky Gervais of football. Once loved and lauded by everyone, they became too successful for their own good and seem to have stopped trying to entertain and disappeared up their own arse. For what it's worth, I still love Ricky Gervais and the Spanish football team but nobody cares about my opinion.

Xabi Alonso looking smugger than a cat licking it's own privates, scored two goals to ease Spain into the semi-finals. The first goal was a decent header from a superb Jordi Alba cross and the second was from the penalty spot after Pedro did the world's sexiest step-over and won a penalty. 
France did nothing, absolutely nothing. Apart from maybe Ribery who managed to scare away defenders with his hideous face and make some room for himself.

The football world reacted in typical football style, declaring this as the worst game ever in the history of the universe. Spain don't give a fuck about us, they don't play football to entertain the world - they want to win the tournament and they probably will.

I've got this horrible feeling England are going to win the tournament. If that happens I plan to move to that nuclear bunker down in Fife until the whole thing blows over. I very well may die down there.