Friday, 1 June 2012

The Rangers car boot sale begins

It's mad Friday and a time when everyone spends their hard earned cash on drinking so much that they can no longer feel feelings anymore. For Rangers it means their players' minimum fee release clauses kick in and they will be forced to sell their players for in footballing terms, next to nothing.

Back in March Rangers players agreed new contracts which saw them take a 75% pay cut. It seemed like a nice gesture from the players, turns out that most of them agreed to pay cuts with the condition that they were given minimum fee release clauses. I did think it seemed awfully nice at the time, which confused me because footballers are the greediest people on earth.

For clubs with a little bit of cash they will be able to acquire Rangers best players for minimal transfer fees. Rangers are a little bit shit so there aren't really that many players that would be worth even 50p. There are a few exceptions of course- Steven Naismith will be available for £2m. He looks like a fat, balding ned and his knee has exploded twice already in his career, but if he can get back to full fitness that is a bargain. Steven Davis can be bought for £1.65m and Allan McGregor has one as well but he sneakily didn't tell anyone how much his is. If you had to you could even buy Maurice Edu for £300,000. It's always useful to give some kind of context when assessing transfer fees in football so never forget that Liverpool paid around £20m for Stewart Downing. If you want to see what spending £20m on Stewart Downing looks like, then look below.

Rangers will be forced into accepting any offer that comes in for these players but the players themselves do not have to accept terms. They will because footballers have zero loyalty and would sell their own Mothers for an extra few quid. None of this bothers me because it will be funny to watch Rangers lose all their first team players and force them into playing young Scottish players instead- everybody wins! Except Rangers next season of course, they won't win anything.