Saturday, 16 June 2012

God 0 - 2 France

"Sacre bleu mon amis!  Ze rain.... it is 'ow you say...... raining lots."  These were the words of thousands of French people across the world as Jesus and his dad tried to end the Ukraine France match with water and lightning.  But then France won


Thor really wanted to watch this match but as any superhero will tell you, there are disadvantages to having such powers.  Thor's is that he has to carry a hammer around everywhere and security don't like it in football stadiums.  Having his favourite weapon confiscated drove the Nordic Avengers god insane and his rage produced fork lightning from the sky, which the referee decided was so awesome they should stop play and watch it for a while.  While all the water in the world ever, of all time, was raining on to the pitch we got to enjoy Adrian Chiles' annoying face and listen to Gordon Strachan try and pretend he isn't absolutely hammered all the time.  It was great.  Thumbs up.

The game started again at 6pm because the threat of death had decreased by about 20% (this is the Ukraine - haven't you seen Panorama?!) due to the lightning's passing and Jeremy Menez fannied about missing chances until the second half when one went in.  Cabaye completely mis controlled a through ball only minutes later but managed to fire a sweet left footed shot into the bottom of Ukraine's net and then that was it.  The rest of the game was pretty pointless.  See you later