Saturday, 16 June 2012

Engerland 3 - 2 Zlatan

Commentators and TV pundits always say 'England do things the hard way' and this was no more true than last night, when they were awful for about 70 minutes of the game against a 'bang average' Sweden team.  You've already seen it though so I'll just write some stuff

England's away strip is pretty cool, as is Sweden's home top and the only thing worth watching Sweden for is to see how awesome Ibrahimovic is.  He looks like he would absolutely destroy you if he decided to give you some loving, and thankfully he reserved this power for literally bouncing players off his massive physique during the game.  When he wasn't on the ball Sweden did what England did and with England leading 1-0 from a ridiculously good Gerrard cross onto Andy Carroll's head, the scandinavians punted balls into the box onto Olaf Melberg's head.  They did this twice and he scored both times. 

The commentators went from 'OH MAYBE ENGLAND CAN WIN THIS TOURNAMENT JIZZ JIZZ JIZZ JIZZ ON MY FACE AHHHHHHH LOVELY ENGLAND' to 'OH WE'RE SO AWFUL WE HAVE NO CHANCE' over the course of this game changing bit of play, and it did my fucking tits in.  

Thankfully for three lions, Roy Hodgson remembered that occasional Theo Walcott is absolutely brilliant, and within about 3 touches of coming on as a substitute he scored a weird dipping 25 yard goal over Isakson's head, and then skinned two players to allow Danny Welbeck to score.  Backwards, on the turn, with his heel.  It was pretty ace.

Apart from that bit he was god awful.  As was Ashley Young.  Why does he always walk around like he's got sun burn?  Or like he's an abused cow boy.  Just pretend you've read something funny here