The Newcastle midfielder got married to a human woman last week and at about 2am during the party guests started having a fight. The venue hosting the wedding was not accustomed to such behaviour and naturally frowned upon the guests who began throwing lobster thermidor at each other. It sounds like a scene from a Woody Allen movie except on this occasion the director doesn't shag and then marry one of his adopted children. A spokesperson from the estate said (a source according to the telegraph):
"To say they behaved like peasants with money is an understatement,"
"They were obnoxious and disgusting. One could say it would be expected of a rough pub on a council estate, but then that's probably unfair to council estates. It was more Big Fat Gypsy Wedding than our usual clientele."In fairness, in the village that I'm from if someone doesn't die as a result of alcohol poisoning the wedding doesn't really count so everyone is allowed to bang the bride. Something like that. I'm just trying to come up with a way to make my friends understand my behaviour tbh
