Kagawa to Manchester United seems to be a Richard Dunne deal. Manchester United don't really mess around when it comes to throwing money at clubs to get the people they want. £17m is what they have thrown at Dortmund in order to sign the Japanese playmaker. Kagawa looks good whenever I see him play, plus being Japanese means that Manchester will be able to sell about 10billion shirts upon his signing. Are dirty underpants really sold in vending machines in Japan? Is it really as weird as it appears? Perhaps someone out there is Japanese and can tell us. How much would I get for my pants? Moving on.
That's Jay Rodriguez who plays for Burnley. Southampton have just decided to spend £7m on him. £5m of this is the English player tax. Burnley have accepted the bid so this goes beyond the rumour stage so this is David Dunne. I've used David Dunne because I think it's going to go tits up just like David Dunne's injury-ruined career.
In the made up to fill the newspaper space category we have Arsenal trailing Llorente. He likes headers and his 27 so let's rule that one out. Ivanovic is a target for both Real Madrid and Barcelona because those two always go for the same players. Chelsea could buy Hulk for about £50m because they are impressed by his muscles and how hard he hits the ball. Droga to China. Kalou to anywhere. Too many to mention so I won't bother. Darren Mackie to Inter Milan was probably just made up by me right now but I challenge you to prove that he's not.