Thursday, 3 May 2012

Steve Kean is attacked again

Poor old Steve Kean still has to live every day as though he's kidnapped a child and hidden it at the bottom of the sea, when actually he's just a fairly below average football manager in charge of a terrible team.  Now he's been attacked again BY A DRUNK

please have sex with me

The Blackburn boss was apparently stunned to see an intruder break into the club's training complex and charge towards him during training on Monday.  The offender was wrestled to the ground by Kean's personal bodyguard, The Big Show, who choke-slammed him before climbing the walls and preparing to leap with steel chair in hand.

"OMG IT WAS SO TERRIFYING ARHHHGHGGGGH" said an innocent onlooker, who had to be taken away by ambulance to be resuscitated.  When they got into surgery the head surgeon looked up and said 'I can't operate on this boy' and then the other doctors went 'oh no - how come?' and then he said 'because this isn't what I wanted.  I always wanted to.... DANCE'

And then he busted into an awesome 80s routine where the Bee Gees sang and everyone had cheeseburgers.  They all had a nice time.  The end.