Jose Mourinho completed his mission of winning Europe's 3 big leagues last night, after watching his Real Madrid side beat Athletic Bilbao 3-0. Now he hopes the portal will finally open and allow him to move back to his own universe.
After the match all the Madrid players gathered and tossed Mourinho into the air, in celebration of their great triumph over Barcelona. I guess you could count the rest of the teams in the league as opponents too, but only if you use that word in the least possible tense. They are the competition in the same way that humans are against a shark in the sea. If you put the shark on a skateboard and had a remote control for the skateboard and drove it around the town - well maybe then you'd have a fair fight but the only way to stop a shark eating you is to punch it in the nose, and I don't know if you've tried to punch in the water like I do every time I'm in the water, but you don't have much power. The other method to stop it killing you is by turning it upside down because that makes them go to sleep.
And that is the end of Shark Facts for today.