Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Play football, avoid jail

My feelings about Jermaine Pennant are well documented but it doesn't matter that I think he is a massive scum bag-twat who should be thrown in jail. What should matter is that he broke the law, again and should be in jail. However apparently lots of money = a good lawyer, a good lawyer = no jail.


Jermaine Pennant plead guilty to being a massive penis drink driving, driving while disqualified and driving without insurance. Despite being previously incarcerated for drink-driving and numerous law breakages,  Pennant avoided doing any jail time at all. Instead he got an 8-week suspended sentence and disqualified from driving for three years. 

So how could someone with a previous jail sentence for drink-driving get away with doing it again? Turns out all it took was to play the sympathy card and didn't he play it well. Poor little Jermaine was stressed and depressed because of the emotional turmoil he was experiencing in his private life. One of his numerous ex-girlfriends said she would take his son to watch him train, she lied. Upon finishing training, he went home to find that his current girlfriend had packed up all her things and left, sending him a quick text message to say "Ur dumped LOL X". 

To make himself feel better, he went out and got smashed in a nightclub. Unfortunately he is Jermaine Pennant so most of the club-goers hurled abuse at him like "twat". This was "the straw that broke the camel's back" his lawyer claimed and after such a stressful day, the only thing he could do was drive home whilst drunk, without insurance and while disqualified - most likely speeding, running a red light and then crashing.

So there you have it, the tragic tale of poor Jermaine Pennant, a man with literally no option other than to break the law and endanger the lives of other road users. I hope you now understand why he didn't go to jail because I certainly don't.  

P.S - don't sue