Friday, 25 May 2012

Pep Guardiola wants to be seduced

Pep Guardiola is feeling super sexy ahead of his last ever game with Barcelona and has told everyone that he wants a month to recharge his batteries and then he might be ready for some erotic times.  Or another job.  A hand job?  Let's read on.

Having assembled arguably the greatest club side of all time, Guardiola leaves behind a Barcelona side that have won about 4 million trophies in the last 4 years.  After the Copa Del Rey final he will depart for his gap year and 'do Asia' before heading out to Australia, working for 6 months, going to New Zealand and then flying home with pictures of when he had a mohawk and when he got painted in neon and danced with random English chicks next to a beach full of drugs.  Or will he?
"I will receive all calls with pleasure, but for the next months I have to recharge my batteries and my mind," said Guardiola.
"I will be ready [to return] if one club wants me and seduces me."
OMG!  Did you read that Abramovich?  Roberto Di Matteo might as well start packing that little red and white scarf thing attached to a stick that people running away from home always have in cartoons.  Why don't they just use a bag?  IT'S SO MUCH MORE PRACTICAL THAN A STICK