Thursday, 24 May 2012

Owen Hargreaves is released

I have a feeling I already did this article about a week ago but ah well.  Our hero Owen Hargreaves has been released by Manchester City because he is simply too broken.  If he were a car he would have been melted into a futuristic robot, as is my understanding of where cars go.

Hargreaves managed a massive 13 minutes of Premier League football this season and that's just slightly less than the league champion's would have wanted.  I think they wanted 15 minutes.  So close!  Like Crystal Maze except instead of the gold ticket dome thing at the end he faces a dome filled with manic depression from a ruined career.  Look at those polaroids fly by, son - you used to play for England too!  I'm not sure if Richard O'Brien is in this version.  He might be.  This is your imagination as well guys, feel free to help me out from time to time.

Shockingly Hargreaves spent the end of the season on loan at Brighton which is most shocking because I didn't know that until today.  I thought we agreed to tell each other everything, man.  I can't handle these lies anymore!  I'm moving out.