Pennant has a rather "colourful" past. The only good thing that I've heard about him is that he has a son called Trey, Trey is a good name. In fact there are two good things, when he was initially arrested for drink-driving in 2004 he told police that he was Ashley Cole- that is brilliant. Pennant plead guilty and had to wear an electronic tag, we also found out during the trial that he is illiterate so at least we don't have to worry about him reading this, getting angry and potentially suing and stabbing us.
Jermaine has good genes, his Dad was sentenced to four years for drug dealing so it's good to know he had a solid role-model growing up. With a rather long list of misdemeanors, affairs and general all-round cockishness - it's no surprise that police confirmed that Pennant was arrested for an assault that took place at about 3.30am - allegedly of course. A short while later he was involved in a minor car accident, whilst under the influence, without insurance and all this despite being disqualified from driving - allegedly.
If he is found guilty of these charges, then he should finally be put behind bars and we will have a party in the FitbaThatba office. How many people does it take to have party? Does me, by myself in the living room with a gin sling count as one? Because that is what's going to happen.