Friday, 25 May 2012

Howard Webb is scared diving will KILL

Referee Howard Webb has said that he fears people who roll around on the floor pretending to be injured could endanger real injured players' lives!  MONSTERS

England's number one official has referenced his favourite crime fiction novel "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" as an example to those who fling themselves around a pitch the minute an opposition player brushes their leg.

He told the BBC:
"If we come under criticism for stopping the game too many times for doctors or physios to enter the field of play then maybe referees will be inclined not to stop the game,"
"I think the message we are trying to get across is that it is always better for referees to be safe rather than sorry, not to take chances and for everyone involved in the game to understand that a referee's first priority is to look after the players in the game he is taking charge of.
These comments are as a result of that time Muamba almost died on the pitch, where he just fell to the ground.  It was a pretty sneaky tactic to win a free kick that far up the pitch and just the mind control required to make yourself literally die is dedication to the cause.  If you can make your appendix explode on the pitch you deserve a penalty.  Hell, have three!

A bar fight with only footballers would be the weirdest thing ever - just 22 men walking up to each other, falling over and rolling around the floor holding their faces screaming, with the barman just sorta standing there looking confused and shrugging.