Monday, 21 May 2012

Fernando Torres hates Chelsea

Fernando Torres is absolutely terrible and lives purely off his reputation from three years ago.  Now he's moaning about being treated unfairly.  WOE IS YOU

Captain spastic himself has actually won the World Cup, Euro 2008, FA Cup and now even the Champions League, despite being a passenger in every single tournament.  The rest of the team carries him through, with his goals only serving to add to existing score lines but it's not good enough that he's had to sit on the bench whilst out of form!  Heaven forbid!
"I have been through the worst moments of my career during the season.
"I felt they have treated me in a way I was not expecting."
Wow, this season really must have been hard for you as you collected about £200,000 a week to sit on your arse and occasionally banjo shots into outer space rather than in the back of the net.  Torres argues that he should have started the Champions League final, and for a World Cup winning striker you'd think he has a point, except for the fact that the guy he would have replaced was the one that scored the goal that kept them in the game.

I would rather have Didier Drogba in almost every conceivable situation - football match, war, pizza hut..... lovers.  Didier would be gentle, but he'd fuck you.  You'd know what just happened and nothing would ever compare whereas Torres would just lie on top like a dying fish.

Stop whinging you cunt