Chelsea have made a bid to buy Battersea power station and turn all the dogs in the local home in to Pikachu like creatures, in order to save money on coal for the fire. Also so the dogs taste spicy.
HAHAHAHA actually they want to buy the power station so they can redevelop it and turn it into a brand new 60,000 seater stadium. According to the BBC it makes no sense economically to redevelop Stamford Bridge and so if they wish to expand a move to another site is the only way. The other proposed site to move to is over an old, ancient Indian burial ground so that the power of the spirits can be harnessed to extend Dider Drogba's powers and life expectancy. At the moment it is expected he will only live to 400, which isn't long for a normal size Drogba, but it is hoped that combined with the electricity gained from the power station he will become enormous like when the bad guys in Power Rangers do.
Drogba is the black one.
WTF HAVE I JUST WRITTEN