Alan Pardew is the prettiest girl at the dance today because he's been awarded Premier League Manager of the Year, which means he gets a trophy and his name in the papers. Also a book!
Not a book like Lord of the Flies or 1984 but a nice glossy one with pictures of naked ladies in it. Some say it might be the greatest literary read of our time, others say it's a marketing gimmick for FHM, either way, I have a boner.