Everton player Steven Pienaar has been bailed after failing to turn up to his date in court. It wasn't a date like a sexy date, unless speeding charges make you horny, because that's what it was for.
The South Afican was caught speeding twice 11 days apart and will now be sentenced next month for his crimes. I'm sure the courts will really teach him a lesson by giving him points on his license and fining him something huge like £1000 and so I've set up a support group to help deal with his rehabilitation. I might not have a lot of money, but forgetful Steve will need my help and as a poor footballer, might be crippled by the fine the British justice system awards. Also I intend to cook him. HE WILL MAKE A NICE SOUP