Sunday, 1 April 2012

Someone is stealing Preston tactics

Preston North End's boss Graham Westley is furious with four of his players who allegedly leaked top secret information about team tactics and player selection to Sheffield Wednesday.

Wednesday beat his side 2-0 and the manager revealed that members of the opponent's bench had told him that they already knew what tactics they were up against thanks of 4 Preston players.  While Westley cried foul, there were darker and bigger forces pulling the strings behind the scenes.

Just the night before two sexy blonde girls met the unsuspecting players in a bar and bought them all drinks, flicking their hair back as they laughed at jokes and sipped their vodka tonics, staring deep in to the eyes of the Preston stars.  These were no innocent drinks.  Secretly there were no vodka tonics, only simple H2O and as the players began to realise that they might get their hole, they let slip the information these hired spies had been so longing to here.

"Sure baby, but you have to promise you won't tell!  Smithy is playing up front, and Johnny is in midfield and I think we'll try and pass it a bit but if that's not working we'll probably just punt the ball towards where the strikers are"

KAPPOW!  And then a SWAT team crashed in through the windows and rolled around the floor doing that signal where you hold your fist up and then do individual fingers to count the people there and then you sort of wave it forwards to beckon people to move from their hiding place.  Maybe they had a mirror on the end of a knife, I don't know, I wasn't there.