Someone finally bids for Rangers

It seems like forever since we first heard that Rangers were going down the toilet. At first I thought Christmas had come early, talk of liquidation and starting again Division Three filled me with joy. Then it all dragged on and on, first they beat Celtic, now they are 11 points clear of Motherwell, they have applied to play in Europe next season (despite missing the deadline) and now someone has bid for them. Where did it all go wrong?

Paul Murray is the leader of the Blue Knights, a group of Rangers fanatics who dress up in in armour and kill Celtic fans with swords. Of course that is completely made up, apart from the fanatical part. Joining forces with Brian Kennedy who owns the Sale Sharks, the pair have made a "substantial bid" for the club. Blue Knights and Sharks, at least if Rangers did have to start again they could be called the Blue Knight Sharks. How good would that be? Exactly. Oh and some fat American guy called Bill Miller has bid for them as well.

For the next 12 months Rangers can only buy players under the age of 18. Their fans might be worried but this is what I always do in Football Manager and if it has taught me anything, then Rangers will win the European cup within five seasons. 

There are lots of boring numbers and percentages but what matters is this - Rangers will not be going into liquidation. As much as it pains me to say it, the SPL does need Rangers or else it will end up like the Highland league or worse, the Irish league. Now I'm off to have the hottest shower I've ever had.