Friday, 20 April 2012

Shane Duffy and the impassable driving theory test

Footballers these days are known for being a smart bunch. Young Everton player Shane Duffy is certainly one of the brightest, today he passed his driving theory test and only at the 11th time of asking.

You should be banned from sitting your theory test if it takes you 11 times. Seriously, I can remember doing mine- I think I studied for about two hours the night before and got one question wrong. He must be a man of unimaginable dim-wittedness to need 11 attempts. The irony here is that I don't even know if dim-wittedness even makes sense.

What is truly terrifying is that this young man will soon be sitting his practical test with absolutely no idea what any road signs actually mean and unsure at what times he is allowed to use his horn in a residential zone. Young, rich and stupid - a deadily combination. I can see him now in his Hummer- powering down a one-way street in the wrong direction whilst listening to some god awful British MC who is shouting the word DENCH repeatedly.

Shane Duffy is so thick that he doesn't realise Nothern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland are different countries. Born in Derry in Northern Ireland, he actually plays for the Republic of Ireland. I assume this is due to his lack of intelligence and nothing to do with the fact that Northern Ireland are really shit.