Monday, 23 April 2012

Roman Abramovich wants to buy Jose Mourinho

Roman Abramovich made a small error of judgement last summer when he decided to hire someone to do a job that they then set about doing rather poorly and then there was an EXPLOSION?!!  An explosion, at this time of year, located entirely within this kitchen?


Robert Di Matteo has taken Chelsea to a safe place since he became the manager by default but even his moderately successful tenure isn't enough for the blood thirsty Russian tycoon, which is the least successful of the 'Tycoon' series after 'Transport' and 'Rollercoaster'.  Rather than build a rollercoaster in Stamford Bridge, Abramovich has decided to spend all of his pocket money on buying out Jose Mourinho's contract at Real Madrid and paying him a lot of cash to restore his team to their former glory.  The fee of £25million has been touted for buying Mourinho and then a further £9million a year for his services, which for the amount of £££££££ I see means that legally Chelsea will own his soul.  As we all know, souls are completely made up which is why I sold mine a long time ago to pay for rent or something and therefore why Jose should just go ahead with that one.  In other news, I think my mirror is broken because I can't see myself in it.  How do you reset a mirror?  There's no home button on it.  Damn you Steve Jobs!