Roberto Martinez was so angry he vomited all over himself this weekend, after watching two clearly offside goals be allowed to stand and thus make his Wigan side lose 2-1. The referees are sorry.
I always think Martinez looks like a bird has hijacked a human body and is just kinda blindly driving it around and typing in stuff to google to make it talk with a spanish accent, but often I'm wrong about these things. Not as wrong as David Bryan, the assistant who failed to spot both Chelsea offside goals and has since been labelled as 'disgusting' for his performance. I can relate because it's normally the box girls tick on the questionnaire I give them before they leave.
Mike Riley, king of the mutants, has declared that these decisions were abysmal and has offered a sincere apology to Wigan, currently battling relegation. The words will come as some small consolation but probably not enough to secure the three points they'd rather have. It's like if some guy killed all of your friends and apologised, hoping that would just make everything OK. But will it bring back my goldfish?! Actually, there is one really big fish left in that tank, maybe I should ask him what really happened. I don't know why I used to hang out with those guys anyway, they never really talked much