Sunday, 1 April 2012

Papiss Cisse is powered by goats

Alan Pardew has revealed the mysterious power behind his new(ish) signing's scoring exploits and it turns out that that is 'curried goat'.  Delicious.

Speaking in the post match interview after Newcastle's defeat of Liverpool, Pardew praised the number 9 and gave some sympathy to angry Andy Carroll:
"I felt for Andy today.  He is a terrific lad and he is having a tough year but he will come back.  On our side of the coin, Cisse was terrific"
There's nothing like kicking a man while he's down.  Especially if that man is a fish, slowly drowning outside of the pond he had become so suited to.  Papiss Cisse is a fairly prolific striker and has already put away 7 goals in his short time in the North East despite the fact that he can't speak English.  Like at all.
He has only had one lesson since we have been here.  We had Africa day at the training ground on Friday with the food and that probably helped him.  We had some curried goat and maybe that's why he was fuelled up today.  It was lovely
Ah yes, 'Africa day!'.  I remember 'Africa day' at my elementary school as though it were yesterday.  We sat outside in the sun while white people stole all our school equipment and taught us about Jesus.  Lenny Henry was there on a unicorn, handing out Weetabix.  This memory may have altered through time.