Newcastle striker Pappiss Demba Cisse went for a haircut the other day and then about 200 people showed up outside to let him know how it went.
Because he doesn't earn any money playing football, Cisse had to go for the £6 option in a random Barber shop and sat in line next to some regular humans who also wanted to get their haircut. Meanwhile, the word spread throughout Newcastle town and a crowd assembled outside, just waiting to see how good his new look might be - would he wear it down, would it be up? DID HE DIE HIS HAIR? ZOMFG NO he got it shaved. Then he signed some autographs and everyone went home, except for one guy who stole some of his hair as a 'souvenir'. And when an army of Cisses eventually enslaves all humanity I'll remind you of the day that no-one stopped that evil scientist, and I'll laugh because I'll be deep in my underground bunker watching episodes of the Office. Or at work possibly. I could also be at a friends house. Or maybe swimming? Leave me alone now, I have to make a decision.