Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Newcastle are in Europe almost

Newcastle United fooled us all this year by becoming one of the most efficient and streamlined operations in the entire of the Premier League.  The hard work is about to pay off because they've reached Europe!  As long as they don't fuck everything up.
Despite being knocked out of the competition very early on, Newcastle still profit from the European place available to FA Cup winners because Liverpool earned a place in the final.  The Anfield side won the Carling Cup earlier this season meaning that they already have a place in the Europa League, and because of various other reasons it basically means that even if Newcastle finish sixth, as they look very likely to, they get a place in Europe.  So everyone is happy.  People from Newcastle get to visit different cities and experience new cultures, and people all over the continent finally get a chance to see Shola Ameobi in real life.  If you touch him it cures blindness.