Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Manchester United fans rejoice! Owen is back

Manchester United fans are probably a bit nervous ahead of their match with Manchester City, after conceding a 4-2 lead to Everton.  The good news for them is Michael Owen is back and he is ready to save the day.

Michael Owen is probably the most boring man in football, I can remember him saying in an interview that he would like to be a pundit. I think I would rather have a St.Bernard sitting on the sofa, in a suit and drooling everywhere, than listen to Michael Owen droning on about that time he scored a goal against that team. In fact I definitely would, imagine a giant St.Bernard wearing a tie? Get ITV on the phone.

Mental preparation for Michael is the key. If he can get into that famous Mikey Owen goal-scoring zone, then there really is no stopping him. It could be against Man City, it could be against Sunderland, it could be against a 15 year old , nobody knows, not even him. For one so arrogant, even Owen has agreed that the chances of him getting into the starting XI are...well there are no chances of him getting into the starting XI.

With Rooney suspended for the start of the Euros, I think we should campaign to get Heskey and Owen back in the England squad. Perhaps we can get Darius Vassell in as well if he's alive. I imagine he sells used cars or goes round pubs selling stolen supermarket meat these days. Google tells me that he currently plays for Leicester City but that's really boring so I'll pretend he manages an ice rink instead.