Saturday, 7 April 2012

Man United want to buy Athletic Bilbao

Sometimes doing real football journalism would result in there being no interesting stories about made-up transfers that won't happen and no-one would read.  In an unrelated note, all the papers think Alex Ferguson is going to sign half the Bilbao team.

Because Manchester United didn't really try in their Europa League matches against the Spanish side they were royally pumped home and away, and many have assumed that this is because Bilbao are a much better side.  Arguably this could be true if you base it on the balance of an entire team and the fact that some of United's midfield is so old it could have served in World War 2, so this is probably where these rumours come from.

Oscar de Marcos, Javi Martinez and Iker Muniain are all being linked with a combined £70million Summer Splash where Alex Ferguson takes them on a holiday to a water based theme park.  There they discover that true friendship is sometimes more important than money, success and the stressful life of the city and they all leave their jobs in the financial sector of New York to sleep on hammocks and make everyone annoyed that they still live in Aberdeen.