Sunday, 29 April 2012

Lyon are patronising

One of the best things about the Internet is that I can pretend to know things about football and then back that up with hard stats. Also, we know things about foreign leagues that until 2003, no-one in the world would ever have known.

So that picture there is one of Lyon celebrating winning the Coupe de France, which literally translates as 'horny girls in Aberdeen want to meet you' according to my Internet browser. It's a strange name for a trophy, I'll give you that, but what makes it even weirder is that the guy in the yellow shirt actually plays for amateur team US Quevilly. This heroic team of part time cheese eaters and croissant bakers fought their way past teams like Marseille and Rennes, finally succumbing to the power of Lyon, who ended the Division 4 sides giant killing ways.

Then to rub in a bit more, Lyon captain Cris beckoned the Quevilly captain, Gregory Beaugrard, to the podium to help lift the trophy. Thats why he looks like such an awkward bastard in that photograph. It's like if you met some astonishingly hot girl, and you somehow manage to go on a date with her and she seems too good to be true, and you lean into kiss her but then suddenly some massive muscly dude rides in on a motorbike, laughs in your face and says "come on baby, let's get it on" and then they ride off into the sunset, while you have to pay the bill. Which always has cocktails on it. They are clearly not the same price as beer! Arggghhh it's not fair