Friday, 27 April 2012

Lionel Messi is going to be a Dad

Football fans rejoice for our godlike hero, Lionel Messi, has successfully impregnated a human woman!

The Argentinian forward is widely regarded as the greatest player ever but now we know his skills range to the erotic world of sexy time. You kinda have to bear with this translation:

According to could know, the star of Barcelona already communicated to its relatives and intimate friendly to them that Antonella Roccuzzo, its pair, is pregnant. What will do I read neither or is born. All the details of the news of which the world will speak!"

Yes, young Lionel appears to have 'intimate friendlied' this chick all night long, eventually lobbing his shot over her head and into the goal. I don't know if that really makes sense but the only trophy he'll win at the end of this match is a child and no-one wants one of them. Unless you could train it to like deliver the paper to where you are sitting, or become a karate master. That doesn't sound so bad actually.

The worst part of the birthing process will be when Geoff Shreeves turns up and informs Messi that the baby is not his, punches the woman in the face and flies off into the sunset to live happily ever after.