When Sergio Ramos successfully launched his penalty into outer space during last weeks champions league semi final, you would have been forgiven for expecting manager Jose Mourinho to throw his toys out of the pram and blame referees for losing. Instead he congratulated Bayern.
Bayern manager Jupp Heynckes was keen to point out what a nice guy and how humble in defeat The Special One is, telling reporters after the game about his visit. What he didn't know was that Mourinho was secretly injecting all the players with a super drug using only the power of his mind, so all the players would fall asleep and he could take them back to his house to have his evil way with them later that evening. Except for Frank Ribery. There's no way you could get a boner looking at that haunted face. He'd be the bin.