David Goodwillie was cleared of rape and wanted us all to know that he's really a great guy. Today he plead guilty to assault. Oops.
David Goodwillie likes to drink and fight, probably because he's from Stirling. Goodwillie admitted punching a man in the head, I asked an expert and he said that this hurts and the human head doesn't like to be punched. The incident in question happened back in November 2010, that seems a really long time ago. Why has this been brought up now? November 2010 is like 20 internet years ago, there's been a about 20 million memes since then and 99% of them are terrible.
Sentencing has been deferred until the end of April. After consulting with his lawyer, he was obviously advised that he is not good enough at football to get away with this so a guilty plea was required. Perhaps if he scores a few goals between now and then he might get away with community service or a slap on the wrist. Do they literally give them a slap on the wrist? What an odd part of the body to slap.
Goodwillie appears to be yet another good footballer who is going to ruin his career because he's a massive twat. He will probably end up playing Highland League football and working in my local Weatherspoons and be known as "that rapist who works in Weatherspoons".