Sunday, 1 April 2012

Glen Johnson is bad at losing

Newcastle comfortably beat Liverpool 2-0 today, embarrassing not only Andy Carroll on his awful home return but also Kenny Dalglish and his uninspired players.  Glen Johnson, watching the game while injured, loved it!

The right back was sat at home, or somewhere, tweeting about the game and took particular offence to the bit where Pepe Reina was sent off for thrusting his head into James Perch's face, who then fell to the floor like a child dropping a stuffed toy.  The Liverpool players were furious and our angry internet warrior said:

The #joke is the most powerful part of his literary outburst.  Coincidentally £35million Andy Carroll was booked for a terrible dive in the first 10 minutes of his home-coming performance but that doesn't really matter because he is shit.  My favourite bit of the game was when Carroll was substituted on 80 minutes and the entire stadium cheered, the England international storming off down the tunnel and throwing his Liverpool shirt on the floor, eventually locking himself in the shower and crying tears of pure regret.

Which he then wiped away with hard cash.  Meanwhile Kenny Dalglish retained that same expression he always does while on the sidelines which is as though someone has just told him he's a wizard but he doesn't know quite what to do with the information, or whether he's left the oven on.