Gareth Bale is wanted

Space chimp Gareth Bale has confessed that if Real Madrid or Barcelona were to try and sign him he'd probably move there.  In related news, if any Kate Upton would like to have sex with me, I'd consider it.

Someone was interviewing Bale somewhere, let's say it was at Lazer Quest for argument's sake, and he said this, which I then borrowed from the Metro:

‘If you are talking about Barcelona or Real Madrid, two of the biggest clubs in the world, then it's a bit like Harry [Redknapp] and England, it's a once-in-a-lifetime dream,’

‘If you said to any young player that you could play for Barcelona or Real would they turn it down? Probably not.

So there you have it, proof that one of the Premiership's best players would also like to play for one of the best teams in the entire world.  Shocking.  I was so surprised by the news that I stared so hard at my screen that I got transported inside fucking Tron.  So thanks for that Gareth Bale.  Now I'm stuck in Tron.