Thursday, 26 April 2012

Dirk Kuyt wants to go home

Liverpool striker/midfielder/creature Dirk Kuyt is set to leave Liverpool and move back to his native Holland, according to newspapers, with a release clause allowing a bid of £1million to be enough to secure a transfer.


Salomon Kalou played with Kuyt at Feyenoord and has been quoted as saying that the Dutch international is bored of being left out of a team that Charlie Adam starts in and Andy Carroll has something to do with, and so the land of tulips and drugs would make him a happier chap. He told someone:

Dirk told me he wants to return now. [he] said to me that I also must come, that we both have to return to Feyenoord.

It sounds like a really weird version of Thelma and Louise to me, but as long as they have each other their friendship and homoerotic undertones will overcome any obstacle. Except for the one where they don't get picked for the team. Even driving a car over a cliff won't change some managers' minds, especially if they don't know you've already done it and if it wasn't their car. In all fairness, I can't be expected to remember every license plate to every car that I relocate to the bottom of the ocean. I'm running a business here - not a memory club!