Thursday, 12 April 2012

Blame Comolli

Liverpool have been dreadful in recent months, despite the giant wild horse Carroll scoring a winner the other night. With the American owners wanting Liverpool to be "the strongest club in football",  Kenny Dalglish must have been slightly worried, being the manager and all, but everything is OK as it was all Damien Comolli's fault.

Damien Comolli has left Liverpool by mutual consent, the footballing equivalent of jumping before you are pushed. Comolli was the director of football, I have absolutely no idea what that means but he has been  directly involved in £112.8m worth of terrible signings. Dalglish and Comolli's relationship was similar to a Mother taking her toddler around Tesco. Kenny would point at things he wanted, completely oblivious to the concept of money and value. If Damien said no that's too expensive, Kenny would stamp his feet and cry until eventually Comolli threw everything he wanted into the shopping trolley. Only at the check-out did Damien realise how much shit he'd actually bought, but by that point it's too embarrassing to put anything back.

Kenny has the full backing of the Liverpool owners, or so they told us today. He also has the full backing of FitbaThatba, as he has provided me with about 80% of my material this season. If Dalglish was to be sacked, Liverpool could actually be good and I wouldn't be able to laugh at them and poke fun. That would be the biggest travesty of all.