Thursday, 22 March 2012

Wayne Rooney broke some kid's wrist

Will heartless monster Wayne Rooney's thirst for human misery ever subside?!  The Manchester United striker has been accused of breaking a 9 year old's wrist with a wayward shot during the warm up of their game against Wolves.


United fan Jamie Thomas was just enjoying his first ever game with his parents, unaware of the terrible danger he was in.  Sat in the away end of Molineux, his hero Wayne Rooney, 26, and compatriot Javier Hernandez were practising some shots when one of the England forward's efforts missed and headed straight towards the young boy's face.  A choice had to be made!  "Do I let the ball strike me in the head or do I try to catch it like a little girl and break my wrist?" - he chose poorly.  His distraught parents said:
“At first we thought it was just bruising but Jamie wasn’t enjoying the game so we went to first aid. We ended up missing most of the second half."

WHY WAYNE ROONEY?  WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?  The public demanded an apology or just an acknowledgement of the travesties he had committed on that fateful day, and he offered this through the medium of Twitter:
"If i broke this kids wrist in warm up i apologise. If the kids parents get in touch with club i will gladly sign a shirt for him."
This version of events as to how young Jamie broke his wrist is much more convincing than the one I told my parents when the same thing happened to me after I discovered internet porn.  "I uhhhh fell.  DON'T GO ON MY COMPUTER!"

Being 18 sure was tough.  And erotic.  I once got hit in the face by a shot Cato Guntveit took, but that my friends, is a story for another day.