I was trying to work out which angle I should go with this story on because if you've read any match reports about Arsenal vs Newcastle from Monday night's 2-1 victory for the gunners, you've probably also read about Van Persie and Krul having the gayest argument of all time. And in Dutch too. How am I supposed to understand that?!! Do I talk about the game, or the non-fight? Or how Gary Neville got his analysis of all of it bang on? VIDEO
That's them arguing over Tim Krul taking too long with his goal kicks - something that angers Van Persie deep to his core. Despite the Newcastle keeper's blatant time wasting throughout the game, the Toon Army still managed to concede a losing goal in the very last minute of injury time and this delighted Arsenal's captain who started celebrating like an arrogant spastic. But a very talented one.
I think I'm safe in assuming that everyone actually quite likes it when players get wound up with each other, with the exception being when people with skin heads do it. A sporting rivalry is great fun to watch, but trying to avoid bone crushing ninja kicks is not. That's why I had to give up my job as an assassin - I'm terrified of confrontation and also I just don't enjoy killing people.
Thinking about it, I really don't know why I applied for that in the first place. I think my career's advisor might have got that wrong. Also I really don't think career's advisors should ask to meet you behind seedy looking bars at 3am. Some of us have to sleep, you know?